it's too much (or not enough) to say "i'm here, come find me". i keep my sap on the inside, but i still feel something when i'm watching netflix alone. i suppose the logical question would be what right do i have? it's not so easy. everyone's been lied to, or maybe it's just me. some kind of magical mutuality, something to share, and appreciating the sharing without thinking about it too much. i get so bored, but tonight's haunted. i watched "paper hearts", season 4. i always get scared, but i like it. i'd like if everything could just last as long as it lasted. no awkward, fearful cutoffs. no dragging corpses onto dance floors. the wind is very loud, and it's very dark out, and i am very lonely. i'm here, come find me.